I was inspired to create this self-portrait series by my constant struggle with Anxiety, because of the servility of it I live in a world where I battle reality vs. daydreams. This series is my creative outlet to express what its like to live in my world and hopefully making reality better in the process.
It all started with this image ‘Safety’, I created this image on a whim earlier this year and I knew even then that I wanted to create a series of images to accompany it.
This series really inspired me to step out of my comfort zone, I tried to create something that was dramatic and that would draw people in because I wanted to help create some awareness for mental illness. I also wanted to do this as a way of helping me through some difficult times, as a way of expressing my feelings to help me deal with everything.
This series really speaks to how I’ve been feeling this year, my anxiety has always been bad but this year I’ve found myself feeling the pressure to get better to a point where I could function like a regular person and go work. This has brought me to a point where I can’t even leave the house by myself and go to appointments etc.
I know I put a lot of this on myself but I do so not just because I would love to be that way but because I feel it from others.
This piece is one of my favourites from the series because I feel that it truly illustrators not just whats goes on in my mind but I’m sure that many other people could relate to it.
I look back at what I created with this series and It makes me proud to see what I am capable of creating. It’s dark but I also see beauty in it even if its meant to send a message that anxiety, depression and mental illness are real things and they aren’t nice. But I guess because of the rawness and the realness I see the beauty in what I have created.
I feel like mental illness its something that we are forced to hide because of the stigma it gets. And because we are told by society its to bad you have to get over it and function like everyone else we hide it and then we can’t process how we feel.
The pressure and stigma of having a mental illness stop me from being happy and its hard because when I feel like I might just be getting their something happens and I’m right back down there again.
I know that I’m not the only one in the world with a mental illness I know that and I’m lucky to have a family that will always support me and be there for me, but mental illness makes you feel so alone even when you know otherwise.
This is something I wanted to address in this series that loneliness that it makes me feel.
My hopes for this series is to just bring awareness to mental health and share with the world my story, my struggle but for others to know that this series represents so many people out there.
I want those who know someone with a mental illness to not give up on them, you might feel like you can’t help them because it seems like they don’t want it but remember its different for everyone we all deal with it in different ways and we just need to know that you are there for us. If your there it matters so much.
If you can see that someone is struggling let them know your there for them and if your worried about that person do everything you can to help them even if they don’t want it. Mental Illness is hard and I know I have struggled with it practically my whole live and there were times where I didn’t want anyone’s help because I thought I could deal with it on my own but now I know that I can’t deal with this on my own I need help.
There is help out there, sometimes it could just be family or a friend and sometimes it might be seeking the help of a councilor or psychologist. I know I find it just as hard as anyone but I have a lot more to give and a lot of people who care about me so don’t give up.
I have dreams and I’m still working my way to achieving them it might be slow but I know with the help of the people who love and care about me I can get there. I have hope and that’s what matters, not giving up even when it feels like everything is crumbling down on you matters.
If you need help or know some on who does please find some helpful links below.
P.s. this post is just my personal thoughts its not sponsored or affiliated with any organizations. But please seek help if its needed.