New work – Safety inspired by my struggle with Anxiety

Safety by Erin Applebee

Safety by Erin Applebee.

For my whole life I have struggled with my Anxiety, it can be quite debilitating and I feel like no matter what I try it just never gets me to where I would like to be. This creative journey inspired me to want to create an image that sums up how it feels to have anxiety.

I suffer from Social Anxiety which makes interacting with people in most situations  cause me some serious anxiety.

When It gets really bad I just want to isolate myself and not leave the house especially by myself. This image is really the first image I’ve created that has real meaning to me.

It’s called ‘Safety’ because it represents that need to take flight from anything that could cause me anxiety, that need to go back to where I feel safe in my comfort zone.

In this image I wanted to capture that vulnerability  and fragility that it causes me to have. I wanted to capture a striking image that could resonate with other people, whether they two are suffering with a mental illness or to draw attention and awareness that it is real and more common than people think.

For a while now I have decided that it’s better to talk about it than to keep it bottled up. How will that stigma that having a mental illness has ever go away if we don’t talk about it. It’s called a silent illness because it’s not talked about. It’s time to create awareness and that’s my aim through this image.

My mental illness has stopped me from doing alot of things and I constantly feel that struggle to get people to understand what it’s like. It’s hard to put into words as I’m sure many others could relate to but I’ll try. it’s fear of attention, it’s fear of having to interact with people, it’s of causing others disappointment, it’s feeling disappointed because you can’t be like other people and it’s fear of forever being like this.

I try my best and I take medication and I talk to a psychologist but sometimes that just doesn’t seem good enough. Recently I had someone tell me that maybe I need to change my medication, the misunderstanding that medication is going to make me function better than I currently am annoys me and that’s why I think it’s better to talk about it, we need to create awareness. We need to show those people that there aren’t always little fixes to make it better, sometimes it’s just enough to help you get through day to day.

Thank you for reading my post and to those of you out there that are like me, talk about how your feeling, it doesn’t have to be a professional it could just be a friend. For years I kept it from people and all that got me was misunderstanding and the misconception that I was unreliable.

If you make people aware of what you are going through then at least you give them a chance to understand and if they can’t that’s not your fault.

I named this peice after one of my favourite songs by Fireflight,’Safety’ it really resonated with me. They are a great band you should go check out their song.

Erin

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One thought on “New work – Safety inspired by my struggle with Anxiety

  1. Really moving photo, think you hit the subject right on the head. I can relate so much to this, mine gets so bad sometimes I don’t want to leave the studio even to grocery shop. Keep up the work!

    Like

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